He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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