If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
worst night to have a conscience
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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