White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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