You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
