Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
