Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
