Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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