Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize