kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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