She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
