I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
