Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
