Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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