so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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