i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
