Are we in a gay sports bar?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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