OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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