OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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