Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
