I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
