I got chris browned last night
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
