If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Pooping to opera.
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