and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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