i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
