You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
