kristin has been a bad kristin
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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