im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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