Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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