Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
