i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
