Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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