I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
