This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
