i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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