Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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