Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize