Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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