so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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