Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
