things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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