How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
