i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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