they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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