I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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