I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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