Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
