I just made out with a guy for $7.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
