her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
