Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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