Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
