I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
