oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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