Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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