whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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