I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
NoShamevember. You game?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
