You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
