Barsexuality is the new black.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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