Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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