An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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