She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
