so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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